WARNING: DO NOT CONSUME AT WORK

The following items should be considered inappropriate to consume in your place of employment. Consumption of these products may endanger your position of employment and result in utter emotional failure and complete mental devastation.

Item #1: Hardboiled eggs. Was it you? Was it me? We'll never know...



Item #2: Fish. Sure to demolish any future relationships and earn you a clever yet secretly hurtful monicker.



Item #3: Peaches. Ah yes, the ever elusive peach. Doesn't look dangerous but what lies beyond that fuzzy exterior will soon transform you from a sleek and sexy professional to a slobbering slow-buddy in sheer seconds.



Item #4: Fried chicken. It may taste like heaven, but you sure don't look like it.



Item #5: Poppyseed ANYTHING. Hey Seedtooth, you may think they'll tell you, but they won't.



Item #6: Booze. No conclusive evidence discovered. Still testing.