Eight great years was a pretty good run.
Although I may have traded you in, I’m really not a traitor.
At least I never pimped you up or made you wear “Vote for Nader”
We’ve been across two states together more than a dozen times
The accrual of hefty speeding tickets being the worst of our crimes.
You’ve carted all of my lifelong belongings from apartment to apartment.
Not once breaking down (except for the time I failed you in the gas department).
You’ve patiently endured the mind-numbing chatter of my not-so-stellar dates,
Safely delivering sailors, sandwich artists and salesmen to their unemployed roommates.
And it was you who witnessed my unfettered excitement,
When I met my future husband after a period of enlightenment.
You’ve treated our little family with the utmost care,
And you never complained about the endless dog hair.
You never showed shame when I cut off dawdling old ladies,
And you quickly forgave me when I hit that Mercedes.
May the unsuspecting high school student who owns you next,
Treat you with nothing less than the utmost respect.
When your radiator starts to rev and lurch after he turns on the air,
I hope he feels the terror that I did at the sheer cost of repair.
And may he reassure you that you won’t be going to the chop shop,
For he will continue to drive you until the day you finally stop.
So it is with this one final tribute I tearfully bid you adieu,
May you now rest your weary struts and know that I always loved you.